Hey guys! New vlog. :) Kinda, pretty much boring. But watch if you wanna.
Sorry...the video is kinda of lagging a little bit (I did it with my webcam...and it sucks. lol)
Thanks. God Bless
:) Becka
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Transforming Continuously
Hey guys! Short update for you.
So, I stated something short in my last blog about my issues with my faith and such. Well...consider that blog post HISTORY! Because...this weekend...even though there was no BIG occurrences... God used the normal things in life I did to show me His wonderfulness. Friday is when it began... I went to North Central for the day. Chapel worship was AMAZING! I don't know what the speaker was even saying (no one did apparently...lol), but the rest of the day was just chill. I took pictures of a friend to widen my photography portfolio...and it was just an incredible day. Saturday was boring really. I just worked and then relaxed after work. Sunday was GREAT! I worked, and then went to church at DSMI. The guest speaker had AMAZING things to say. But it wasn't what he preached on that got to me. It was just God. I connected to God during worship once I started to open up. And then at the end of the guest speaker's sermon... I just really began to feel God working in me. My fears, doubts, and lack of faith and hunger for God the past couple weeks....GONE! It was so awesome. No...obviously I'm still not a perfect Christian...and still have stuff to figure out. But don't we all??? But I have rededicated to my goal to read my Bible every day, do devotions, and worship Him. Each day. :) And I want Him to be the center of my life. Which I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to happen. And I know it WILL happen. It's already started. I just have to make sure I put in that daily effort and stay on FIRE for Him...always longing for more and more of Him. I can't wait. :)
GOD IS MY FAVORITE!!! AND HE'S AMAZING! I LOVE HIM!!!
Thanks for reading. God Bless.
:) Becka
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Birthday Wishes, Blessings, and Struggles
Hey guys! So here is a short update.
So, about a week ago, I posted a note on my Facebook saying "Thank You" to my close friends in my life. Writing that note brought me to tears, because I began to realize that I have so much to be grateful for in my life. Even though other things seem to be going wrong, I have those friends to always count on and have a great time with. But then reading it again... I realized there was one person that I didn't even think of thanking. That person was God. There I was thanking all the important people in my life for their impact and presence in my life...and I didn't even once stop to think about God. In reality, God is the ONLY person I should be thanking. He is the one who blessed my life with those friends, the one who got me my job, the one who continuously gets me out of messes life throws at me...but He barely gets any glory and credit from me.
This past Sunday (9/26) was my 19th birthday. It was AMAZING! I seriously have the greatest friends in the whole world. The night couldn't have been any better. At first it was kinda boring...as I was on the phone trying to help my friends Tyler and Ashley find their way around downtown. Took like 10 minutes. FINALLY they met up with us...and the small group of us headed for the Applebees in Block E. The walk there was a lot of fun. We were all hyped up and just goofing off...all getting comfortable and acquainted with each other. Finally, we reached Applebees and sat down. Of COURSE...the first thing my friend Mike Jackson says to the waiter is that it was my birthday. Go figure right? So, we are all sitting and eating our food....but DEFINITELY not boring. We are all laughing our heads off every like...10 seconds for a random reason. Not a dull moment. I'm pretty sure everyone in there thought we were nuts college kids. ;) Then... YET AGAIN... Mike Jackson decides to start up my embarrassment AGAIN. He starts my whole group of friends to sing "Happy Birthday" to me SUPER loud. It was SOO embarrassing. Especially since when it got to the "happy birthday dear, Becka...", Tyler yells out "THAT'S BECKA!" and points to me. Pretty sure my face was REALLY RED. But all in all, that night was unforgettable...and probably the BEST birthday I've ever had. I owe all the joy and fun to my AWESOME friends: Mike J, Michael T, Tyler, Ashley, Amanda, and Megan.
What kind of daughter am I?
If you ask me...a pretty lousy one.
God continues to look after me and bless me...even when I completely forget about Him. When my focus begins to shift to everything else but Him, He is still there planting blessing, after blessing, after blessing in front of me. I owe Him EVERYTHING I am and have. Because I am nothing without Him. Absolutely nothing.
Recently... I've been having a few issues in my faith. I haven't been to church in like 3 weeks...and my spirit and heart weren't longing for more of God. I wasn't reading my Bible...or praying...or doing devotions...nothing. I felt BEYOND dry. It wasn't til like 2 days ago that I finally told someone about it. I talked to my friend briefly... and he indirectly showed me what was wrong. I hadn't been to DSMI in like... a month and a half. And that was the place where I always feel connected to God. So, my plan is to start attending again...ASAP. Because I can't stand feeling away from God...it makes me feel to empty and like there isn't anything to live for. So, if you read this...please pray for me. That'd be awesome. :)
Thanks guys! Love you all. And God Bless.
-Becka :)
Monday, September 6, 2010
First Vespers (of school year 10-11)
Hey guys! Short update for you. :)
So Sunday night [9/5/10] was the first night of Vespers at Bethel University for the school year. Originally I had planned not to attend it, seeing as I had not gone to DSMI for two weeks and figured I should go there instead. But during worship at DSMI...something just felt wrong. I felt like I was in the wrong place. I was able to worship...but I had a feeling in my heart that DSMI wasn't where I was supposed to be that night. The place was packed, and everyone was on fire for God. But for some reason... my heart didn't feel content being there. So before worship was over, I left. At first I wondered if I was just being selfish wanted to attend Vespers with friends instead of being at DSMI...but then I felt comfortable with my decision. And then I was saying that I wasn't suppose to go because I didn't have enough money for gas. But it turned out that my friend Jordan was able to drive me. So everything was falling into place for me to go to Vespers.
It turns out...that I honestly think I made the right choice in going to Vespers. It was INCREDIBLE. The worship was amazing...the vibe and excitement and positive expectations were overwhelming...the words the head worship leader shared were just right with what I needed to hear... just everything fell into place like I choose correctly. I encountered God hardcore during that Vespers. Last school year, there was only one other Vespers night that I could remember that ran over time that I was there for[well...LONG time over]. And that was a night that really broke me and effected me. I definitely won't forget that night. But this last Sunday night, it was very similar. We went 45 minutes over normal time. Although, it seriously didn't feel like it. When they ended, I thought to myself that it was only 11. But when I looked at the clock I was shocked. Time had gone by so fast. It really only felt like I was there for only about 30 minutes (IF THAT!). God really started to mend me during this first Vespers. And I CAN'T WAIT to see how else God will work in me soon! I'm excited. :)
Well...that's all really for now. Just thought I'd share that.
God Bless,
:) Becka
So Sunday night [9/5/10] was the first night of Vespers at Bethel University for the school year. Originally I had planned not to attend it, seeing as I had not gone to DSMI for two weeks and figured I should go there instead. But during worship at DSMI...something just felt wrong. I felt like I was in the wrong place. I was able to worship...but I had a feeling in my heart that DSMI wasn't where I was supposed to be that night. The place was packed, and everyone was on fire for God. But for some reason... my heart didn't feel content being there. So before worship was over, I left. At first I wondered if I was just being selfish wanted to attend Vespers with friends instead of being at DSMI...but then I felt comfortable with my decision. And then I was saying that I wasn't suppose to go because I didn't have enough money for gas. But it turned out that my friend Jordan was able to drive me. So everything was falling into place for me to go to Vespers.
It turns out...that I honestly think I made the right choice in going to Vespers. It was INCREDIBLE. The worship was amazing...the vibe and excitement and positive expectations were overwhelming...the words the head worship leader shared were just right with what I needed to hear... just everything fell into place like I choose correctly. I encountered God hardcore during that Vespers. Last school year, there was only one other Vespers night that I could remember that ran over time that I was there for[well...LONG time over]. And that was a night that really broke me and effected me. I definitely won't forget that night. But this last Sunday night, it was very similar. We went 45 minutes over normal time. Although, it seriously didn't feel like it. When they ended, I thought to myself that it was only 11. But when I looked at the clock I was shocked. Time had gone by so fast. It really only felt like I was there for only about 30 minutes (IF THAT!). God really started to mend me during this first Vespers. And I CAN'T WAIT to see how else God will work in me soon! I'm excited. :)
Well...that's all really for now. Just thought I'd share that.
God Bless,
:) Becka
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Introducing...Disaster Path, Becka Dibble Photography, and God! :)
So this is a VERY short post. I suppose I just want to do some advertising for my favorite local band! They are called Disaster Path.
They are 6 of the coolest guys I've probably ever met in my life. They are hilarious and super talented. I love going to their shows and hearing the talent God has blessed them with. Of course... you have to have a taste for screamo/hardcore music. But if you do... then PERFECT! Even if you don't... check 'em out anyways. At least their blog on their myspace with the lyrics.
Click on this picture. It'll take you to their myspace. :) [Yes, I took these pictures and put this picture together]
They are 6 of the coolest guys I've probably ever met in my life. They are hilarious and super talented. I love going to their shows and hearing the talent God has blessed them with. Of course... you have to have a taste for screamo/hardcore music. But if you do... then PERFECT! Even if you don't... check 'em out anyways. At least their blog on their myspace with the lyrics.
I have had the opportunity to do a photo shoot for these guys. It was a BLAST! Even though we didn't fit in enough time to full band pictures (that will be an upcoming photo shoot), we got some great individual shots. But during that time, I feel like I got to laugh, hang out, and just have fun with them. Even though we didn't talk much... I still feel a lot closer to those guys afterwards.
I encourage you to check them out! I'd love it...and I'm sure they would too!!! :) And come to an upcoming show (although I don't know if they have any scheduled right now...but whenever they do...come to one!). Then you can truly see their hearts for God and just get to know them better. Because they are fantastic!
Click on this picture. It'll take you to their myspace. :) [Yes, I took these pictures and put this picture together]
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With all that being said... I will talk a little about what I've been up to.
There isn't much going on in my life right now actually. I just recently made a page on Facebook for my photography. When putting it up... I really didn't have much intention of doing much with it. But apparently... so much for that! (haha) Two days after I put it up, I offered to take picture of my friend Amanda and her sisters to help grow my portfolio and for practice. Not long after I put them up, my friend Mike asked me about my hobby (photography). It ended up...that Disaster Path (Mike is the leader singer of the band) needed someone to take pictures for their photo shoot. I was super nervous...but I agreed. And it was AWESOME (like I said above.. I can't wait for the second one)! Now, I am also going to be taking picture's of my friend's nephew in a couple days. And I am having people ask me to take their senior pictures and such things. It's so GREAT! I wasn't expecting anything to happen out of such a simple thing like putting my pictures up on Facebook and making a fanpage for them. But it did. And I can't begin to express how excited I am being able to take pictures for people. I LOVE IT!!!
Also...even though there hasn't been a significant thing I have learned or a BIG experience lately where I encountered God... I just feel like I have been growing closer to Him. Just everything around me brings me back to Him and I can't get enough. God is just SO amazing and great. I'd come up with better words...only there aren't human words that I can say that would do Him justice.
Well...that's basically all I have today. If you wanna check out my facebook page and look at my portfolio (even though it is still small)...click on this picture.
Love you all! And God Bless,
Becka :)
Friday, August 20, 2010
Vlog - Meditation, Holy Spirit, Miracles
I recorded this Vlog the Friday morning (8.20.2010). LONG one again. :) Sorry. I guess I just have a lot to say. Love you all and God bless!!! :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
To Blend? Or Not To Blend? That Is the Question.
I feel like Christians now-a-days are just so fake and bland! IT'S GROSS! People need to just STOP!
STOP!!!!
We have GOT to stop living comfortable lives. Take a look at the disciples. They constantly were tested and eventually killed for the ways they lived out their faith. Why don't we see that anymore?!?! Living in America we have either become TOO comfortable with our lives and don't want to do radical things for God... or we are too SCARED of what will happen to our lives if we put our faith out there.
Shouldn't people who don't believe in God be able to tell us apart from them?
YES!! THEY SHOULD!
If we just blend in with everyone else around us...no one we know will come to know Jesus. I'm not suggesting that you do drugs or drink or swear or anything that other people you know do.
But have you told all of the people you can think of about you're faith?
Probably not.
I haven't either...but I want to. DON'T YOU?
Here is the question I'm going to leave you with.
How are YOU going to IMPACT the world for God....TODAY?!
God Bless,
Becka
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
When Will It FINALLY Effect Us?!?!
Today I watched the movie, To Save A Life. I definitely cried. This is my thing... I don't think people in this world who claim to be Christians get it yet. Because if everyone REALLY understood....wouldn't we ALL be out there DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT?! Here are the facts:
-121 million people worldwide suffer from depression.
-Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers.
When are we going to get off our butts and figure out something to do? Because so far...not many people are making an effort. It makes me SICK to my stomach when people who profess to love God and "follow after Him" can't take one moment...push aside their pride...not care what people say or think of them...and reach out to the lonely, the empty, the hurting, the lost, the searching.
As Christians, peopleCONSTANTLY talk about needing to "reach out" to others and bring people to Christ. But let's take a look for a second. Is ANYONE REALLY doing that? Taking a look at the church and the people in it... I would say no.
You may be thinking "Well I attended the outreach my youth group threw" or "I went on a missions trip this summer and told people about God."
SO WHAT?!
Let me ask you something.
Yes...you may have attended the event....but how many people didYOU HONESTLY try to bring to it? Maybe you mentioned it to them briefly...but did you take the time show them how important they are to you by convincing them to come?
And yes....missions trips areEXTREMELY awesome and important. And you may have reached out to people there. BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW THAT YOU AREN'T ON THE MISSIONS TRIP ANYMORE?! Do you still go out and talk to people on the streets about God? My guess is, no.
What are we doing here people???EVERY DAY there are people in this world that commit suicide, or suffer with depression, or smoke and drink away the pain, or cut themselves. But what are we really doing to help them?
Is your answer NOTHING? It might as well be.
God is calling us out there in this world to be His heart and His love. Why is that so difficult to do? It shouldn't be. It's about time that we put aside our selfishness, our pride, or whatever else is holding us back...and SAVE A LIVE (LIVES)!
Sorry for that rant....but this topic really hits home with me. :)
God Bless,
Becka
Monday, August 9, 2010
A Night with Worship, Learning, and Prayer
Last night I went with three of my friends to the church service at DSMI (mentioned in a previous blog). It was even MORE amazing than last week's. [Of course there are always things that make each one separately awesome!] But anyways... the worship portion lasted for TWO HOURS! How many songs did we sing? FOUR. Just FOUR SONGS lasts us 2 whole hours of WONDERFUL worship. It was amazing. Doug Stanton was reading scriptures during parts of it...and then a good portion of it was improv and just sitting in God's presence. It was so calming, and amazing. [I know I say amazing a lot...but it's because no other words can come to mind to describe it.]
After worship, Doug Stanton (http://www.dsmi.org) got up and preached. He talked about evangelism. Specifically though, he talked about how as Christians, we need to deny ourselves. We HAVE to belay our lives/needs/wants. Because if we don't deny ourselves, we are denying God. It is important that we pick up our cross, and follow God. What does denying one's self mean? It means that you are giving up your own will. It's to deny one's desires and pleasures that don't lead to God. It is impossible for someone to follow his will AND God's will. They must choose one or the other. Don't settle for a self-focused life....choose to follow God's will and MAKE AN IMPACT! Don't get up to Heaven and be before God, and not have done what God called you to do while here on earth. Long to be in the thickness of God's glory and live out your potential to the best of your ability. ["Here am I! Send me!"] What will happen if you let God consume your life and you shine like a BRIGHT light on a hill? ANYTHING! Don't minimize God's will/plan for your life. God wants us to go out and do what He has called us to do for His glory. Whatever it may be. But not only are we supposed to do what God called us to do, we have GOT to be lights for people who are still stuck in darkness. Whether that is doing your job [accountant, pastor, missionary, construction worker, cook, WHATEVER!], or going out purposefully and sharing God's Word with the lost... we gotta do it! 99% of the world doesn't lead someone to Christ on a regular basis. Are you part of the 1% that does? That doesn't mean you have to lead someone to Christ DAILY. But it means that you are making an effort to save someone's life by sharing the hope of God's salvation to them whenever there is a chance. [haha Sorry for that rant. But those are things I learned last night.]
After the sermon, Doug invited everyone up to the front. He had people come to the very front if they needed prayer for healing in their lives. It was incredible. The Holy Spirit was REALLY working in that place. It was GREAT! I loved it. Whitney, Chelsea, and I got to pray with a woman that needed prayer for restoration in her life with family and relationships. It was such an indescribable experience. So I won't even try to explain it on here. [Ask me sometime.] Then once the service was "officially" over, Chelsea got a call from her mom. All she was calling for was to ask Chelsea where she was (because it was 10:40pm, and the service started at 7pm), and asked her to bring her grandma to the doctor in the morning. I guess her grandma was having neck pain. So Chelsea, Whitney, Emmanuil, Jeremiah, and I formed a circle and prayed for her grandma for healing. Even though that was the initial reason for our prayer circle, we started praying for our generation, and a revival, and for God to just work in this world, and Christians would rise up. It was so intense! You could just FEEL the Holy Spirit among us while we were praying. It was INCREDIBLE! [I found another word to use! haha] Once we were done praying, we left. But let me just say....God DEFINITELY knows how to show up and work. :)
That concludes this blog post. Hope you enjoyed it and learned something from it!
God Bless!
<3 Becka
After worship, Doug Stanton (http://www.dsmi.org) got up and preached. He talked about evangelism. Specifically though, he talked about how as Christians, we need to deny ourselves. We HAVE to belay our lives/needs/wants. Because if we don't deny ourselves, we are denying God. It is important that we pick up our cross, and follow God. What does denying one's self mean? It means that you are giving up your own will. It's to deny one's desires and pleasures that don't lead to God. It is impossible for someone to follow his will AND God's will. They must choose one or the other. Don't settle for a self-focused life....choose to follow God's will and MAKE AN IMPACT! Don't get up to Heaven and be before God, and not have done what God called you to do while here on earth. Long to be in the thickness of God's glory and live out your potential to the best of your ability. ["Here am I! Send me!"] What will happen if you let God consume your life and you shine like a BRIGHT light on a hill? ANYTHING! Don't minimize God's will/plan for your life. God wants us to go out and do what He has called us to do for His glory. Whatever it may be. But not only are we supposed to do what God called us to do, we have GOT to be lights for people who are still stuck in darkness. Whether that is doing your job [accountant, pastor, missionary, construction worker, cook, WHATEVER!], or going out purposefully and sharing God's Word with the lost... we gotta do it! 99% of the world doesn't lead someone to Christ on a regular basis. Are you part of the 1% that does? That doesn't mean you have to lead someone to Christ DAILY. But it means that you are making an effort to save someone's life by sharing the hope of God's salvation to them whenever there is a chance. [haha Sorry for that rant. But those are things I learned last night.]
After the sermon, Doug invited everyone up to the front. He had people come to the very front if they needed prayer for healing in their lives. It was incredible. The Holy Spirit was REALLY working in that place. It was GREAT! I loved it. Whitney, Chelsea, and I got to pray with a woman that needed prayer for restoration in her life with family and relationships. It was such an indescribable experience. So I won't even try to explain it on here. [Ask me sometime.] Then once the service was "officially" over, Chelsea got a call from her mom. All she was calling for was to ask Chelsea where she was (because it was 10:40pm, and the service started at 7pm), and asked her to bring her grandma to the doctor in the morning. I guess her grandma was having neck pain. So Chelsea, Whitney, Emmanuil, Jeremiah, and I formed a circle and prayed for her grandma for healing. Even though that was the initial reason for our prayer circle, we started praying for our generation, and a revival, and for God to just work in this world, and Christians would rise up. It was so intense! You could just FEEL the Holy Spirit among us while we were praying. It was INCREDIBLE! [I found another word to use! haha] Once we were done praying, we left. But let me just say....God DEFINITELY knows how to show up and work. :)
That concludes this blog post. Hope you enjoyed it and learned something from it!
God Bless!
<3 Becka
Saturday, August 7, 2010
A Night of Memories and Well Learned Lessons
Last night was the night I got to spend with my old group of friends from Heritage Christian Academy. It was a blast! We ate pizza, danced, listened to music, shared memories, played games, and watched movies. While most of the group was ready to pass out, my friends (Joelle and Chelsea) and I were wide awake. So we decided to go into another room and hang out/talk. We ended up staying up the entire night talking about life, God, the church, spiritual warfare, and other random things that came up. It was one of the best conversations I've had with anyone in a long, long time. It was incredible actually.
And looking back at somethings we talked about, I have realized that every mistake I've made, every choice I went with, and everything I've learned has formed me into who I am. Yeah... I hear this ALL the time. I mean...don't we all? We always hear that our choices will decide/form us into who we will become in the future. And it's rather true. Of course, it also is a matter of perspective. You can either wallow in you're own self-pity because things go wrong...and you go through crap when you make a mistake...or people hurt you...or WHATEVER it is. OR you can get up...talk to God...and start taking baby steps toward becoming a better person through and in God. It's our choice. How we deal with the outcome of mistakes and pain from life shows our true character and our faith in God.
Also, looking back... I see that every choice I've made was the right one. Yes... I've been through SO much in my life (a lot of it/the pain was results from my own stupidity/mistakes). And a lot people would be like "Wow! That really suck you went through that." or "Man. That was stupid of you to do.". But I don't care what people say. Because looking back on my life...I can honestly say I'm proud of how it turned out. I wouldn't be the woman of God I am now. And God wouldn't be able to use me in the sames ways if my life hadn't gone the way it has/will.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
"The outcome of your life will be determined by your outlook on life."
"The more problems you have, the more potential you have to help people."
"Trials have a way of helping us rediscover our purpose in life."
[all from In a Pit With a Lion On a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson]
These quotes are so true.
Well....that's all my thoughts for the day. Goodnight. :)
God Bless!
<3>
And looking back at somethings we talked about, I have realized that every mistake I've made, every choice I went with, and everything I've learned has formed me into who I am. Yeah... I hear this ALL the time. I mean...don't we all? We always hear that our choices will decide/form us into who we will become in the future. And it's rather true. Of course, it also is a matter of perspective. You can either wallow in you're own self-pity because things go wrong...and you go through crap when you make a mistake...or people hurt you...or WHATEVER it is. OR you can get up...talk to God...and start taking baby steps toward becoming a better person through and in God. It's our choice. How we deal with the outcome of mistakes and pain from life shows our true character and our faith in God.
Also, looking back... I see that every choice I've made was the right one. Yes... I've been through SO much in my life (a lot of it/the pain was results from my own stupidity/mistakes). And a lot people would be like "Wow! That really suck you went through that." or "Man. That was stupid of you to do.". But I don't care what people say. Because looking back on my life...I can honestly say I'm proud of how it turned out. I wouldn't be the woman of God I am now. And God wouldn't be able to use me in the sames ways if my life hadn't gone the way it has/will.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
"The outcome of your life will be determined by your outlook on life."
"The more problems you have, the more potential you have to help people."
"Trials have a way of helping us rediscover our purpose in life."
[all from In a Pit With a Lion On a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson]
These quotes are so true.
Well....that's all my thoughts for the day. Goodnight. :)
God Bless!
<3>
Friday, August 6, 2010
Summer Time is a Wondrous Time! :)
So...this summer... it has changed my life. Seriously. It started out with my missions trip (talked about in previous blog). That missions trip taught me so much. I noticed how selfishly I was living my life. I wasn't living my life for God like we are supposed to. It really stretched me. I learned a GREAT deal on that missions trip. Probably more than I ever did when I went to Peru or Mexico. Which is crazy. I always knocked the idea of going on missions trips in the US. Cuz I felt like not as much would be accomplished. But we were able to help the church we worked through and have WONDERFUL experiences while there.
After the missions trip, one of my best friends, Amanda Aurich, and I went up to Family Camp at Lake Geneva Christian Center. We went up and stayed with my parents in their camper. Also, two of my friends Mike and Jeremiah Taylor came up with us and stayed in a tent. We were there for a total of 6 days (except Mike was only there for 3). IT WAS A BLAST! Also, that is when God began His work in me. I didn't notice it at all at first. But God started using me in the most simple and unexpected ways. He has given me this incredible boldness to talk about him and His Word. He has also definitely given me His heart. I have been reaching out to people that I NEVER thought I would. It shocks me...but God is most definitely transforming me. It's SO exciting! I can't wait for each new day to see what He'll do next. I am so full of joy all the time. Not happiness from friends, or family, or any earthly thing. PURE JOY! :)
Also, this past Sunday night I attended a service at the DSMI building in Crystal, MN. It is a ministry that the evangelist from Australia put together. His name is Doug Stanton (check out his website: http://www.dsmi.org). I can barely even describe to you my experience there Sunday night. The worship was INCREDIBLE!!! The words shared by Doug's brother-in-law (a missionary to Figi) and by Doug were just outstanding. And the healing part of the service afterward was awesome. I am not aware of anyone being healed on the spot, but God was DEFINITELY working there. I didn't think I'd ever see my faith increase in such an amount in one night...but it for sure happened after that service Sunday night. I encourage EVERYONE to go there some time. It's wonderful. And it's a great ministry.
It's so amazing what God is doing in my life. I simply can't wait to see what He will keep doing in and through me! :)
God Bless!
<3 Becka
After the missions trip, one of my best friends, Amanda Aurich, and I went up to Family Camp at Lake Geneva Christian Center. We went up and stayed with my parents in their camper. Also, two of my friends Mike and Jeremiah Taylor came up with us and stayed in a tent. We were there for a total of 6 days (except Mike was only there for 3). IT WAS A BLAST! Also, that is when God began His work in me. I didn't notice it at all at first. But God started using me in the most simple and unexpected ways. He has given me this incredible boldness to talk about him and His Word. He has also definitely given me His heart. I have been reaching out to people that I NEVER thought I would. It shocks me...but God is most definitely transforming me. It's SO exciting! I can't wait for each new day to see what He'll do next. I am so full of joy all the time. Not happiness from friends, or family, or any earthly thing. PURE JOY! :)
Also, this past Sunday night I attended a service at the DSMI building in Crystal, MN. It is a ministry that the evangelist from Australia put together. His name is Doug Stanton (check out his website: http://www.dsmi.org). I can barely even describe to you my experience there Sunday night. The worship was INCREDIBLE!!! The words shared by Doug's brother-in-law (a missionary to Figi) and by Doug were just outstanding. And the healing part of the service afterward was awesome. I am not aware of anyone being healed on the spot, but God was DEFINITELY working there. I didn't think I'd ever see my faith increase in such an amount in one night...but it for sure happened after that service Sunday night. I encourage EVERYONE to go there some time. It's wonderful. And it's a great ministry.
It's so amazing what God is doing in my life. I simply can't wait to see what He will keep doing in and through me! :)
God Bless!
<3 Becka
Chicago Missions Trip 2010
Bare with me... this is a LONG LONG entry. It's my journal entries from my mission trip to Chicago, IL this summer.
Sunday [06/13/10]
Today was the travel day of the trip. It was definitely interesting for me. Needless to say, I think Satan was trying to ruin my attitude with people right from the beginning. I was just getting easily irritated with many people throughout the car ride. We got to Chicago after a VERY long car ride. Once we got there, us girls went up to the apartments above the church to settle in and figure out where we were sleeping. We were able to get there before the other church from Forest Lake, so we picked our rooms easily. Later in the night, we had worship with everyone there for the missions trip. At first I was still in a bad mood, but Jim (our worship leader) had picked just the right songs that hit home that night. I was able surrender my mood to God and He just began to speak to me. During worship, I saw a vision of a man who had a broken arm. I couldn't tell where he was or what was going to happen. But that just stuck in my head the whole time. I don't know what God is trying to say or communicate, or if it even means anything...but we'll just have to wait and see I guess.
Monday [6/14/10]
Today was amazing! :) I have so much to say from this day, that it will probably be my longest entry. So first, the whole group was split into smaller ones. Each group went to a different area for tasks in the morning. Most of the groups were brought to different parks to clean them up. We got to the park and it wasn't HORRIBLE. But there was a lot of random gross things, and bottles, glass, wrappers, etc. So my small group (which consists of Kassie Knutson, Ben Aarhus, Eric Slegh, Jordan Groeneweg and Dan Slegh as our leader) with a small group from Forest Lake [we were paired up with their small group most of the week] took shovels and rakes and started cleaning up. At first it just seemed like no big deal...just picking up trash. But then there was something humbling about picking up the garbage that others left behind without caring. In a way... I guess I sort of thought of the analogy of it being like someone's life. So many people will come and leave hurt and garbage in your life. And it seems like you aren't worth much anymore, even to God. But then God comes along and cleans out your life of what others leave behind so that you are beautiful again. It was a very humbling experience for me. After we were all done filling up the garbage bags, we started just doing random things in the park. Kassie and I began throwing the football around. The guys took the basketball and started a game. Not long after they started a game, some guys from the neighborhood came over and started shooting hoops. Our guys then invited them to start a game with them. It was intense, but a lot of fun. Once the game ended, we all went back to the church for lunch. After we finished our lunches, our groups were send out again on different tasks in the afternoon. My group went on a prayer walk. We had around 10+ people in our group. So we decided to split up into groups of 3 or 4. Dan wasn't sure who should go with who, so Jeff (a leader from AIM) decided to take charge and made the groups. Kassie and I ended up being in his group. At first we prayed for a little while, then we got to talking. We had flyers that advertise the BBQ the church is having on Wednesday. As we were walking, Jeff was talking to Kassie and I about random things. We were walking past this small group of people who seemed to be having a party outside. Kassie and I were both hesitant to talk to any of them, so Jeff stopped a couple of them and gave them a flyer and told them about the BBQ. After that, we started walking again and Jeff brought up that Kassie and I were hesitant to go up to them. He started telling us about how we can't let fear get to us. Because if we do, it will bring us down and that is how Satan keeps a hold of us. Then the next thing I knew, Kassie and I had the boldness to go up and talk to people and give them flyers. The only explanation would be the boldness of the Holy Spirit coming over us. It felt so freeing to be able to not be scared to approach people passing on the street. It was so cool! We ended up walking past a grocery store, so we went inside. Jeff bought Kassie and I energy drinks (and of course one for himself). Also during the prayer walk, Jeff asked me if I'd ever heard the song "I Think I'm Gunna Throw Up". It was really cool that he knew that song. I grew up singing that song in kids church when I was in elementary school. After the prayer walk, my group went to the elementary school close to the church. It was really awesome how most people seemed open to us when we walked up to them and told them about the BBQ and the church. We all sprawled out and covered a most of the area where the parents were getting their children. Once we had pretty much talked to everyone, our group met up in front of the entrance to the playground area that we were just in. Shortly after, the principle of the school said we weren't allowed to pass out anything on school grounds, so we had to do that across the street. But even though Satan was trying to ruin what we were doing, we managed to beat him before He could. Once all the groups got back to the church, we had dinner. It was REALLY good. :) Then, as a whole team, we went out to a big park to do ministry. We didn't have anything specific planned. So we all just split up to wherever we wanted. the guys (well most) from our church's team went and played sports with neighborhood guys who were there. The rest of us did things like jump rope and random things. For our team, it wasn't a major opportunity to witness, but you never know how you have touched people's hearts by actions. After that, we had our worship/ATL (Ask The Lord) meeting back at the church. Everyone was standing/sitting around waiting for it start. But Jim had a really bad headache and couldn't lead worship. So Rian (another AIM leader) was up on stage looking for songs to play and getting ready to lead worship with the help of a few church members playing bass, drums, and electric (while he played acoustic guitar). I was talking to people when Jeff called me name. I walked up to him and asked what's up. He said, "Do you know the song 'Take It All'?" I said I did. The next thing I knew, Jeff was pulling me up on stage. And shortly after that, Rian and I lead worship for the team. At first, I was beyond nervous. I can't even explain how sick it made me. I don't even know why I was so nervous to lead the team in worship. I mean... I've lead worship countless number of times. I was used to it. But my stomach kept churning just standing up there in front of everyone. Worship started, and Jeff got everyone excited and going. The next thing I know, I am jumping and getting really into worship. I barely even realized that I was on stage anymore. God brought peace, assurance, and confidence to my heart. I don't think I have ever had an experience like that leading people in worship. It was a blast, and it was very humbling allowing God to work through me during that time. Once worship was done, we started our ATL (also can be referred to as a daily debriefing). Our leader from AIM was asking people to come up and share something that happened to them during the day. No one was going up, and I felt a enormous tug on my heart to go up and talk. I was freaked out and didn't want to go up. But after about a minute of Mark waiting for someone to come up, I found myself standing up and walking up there. I didn't have the slightest clue as to what I was going to say as I was walking up there. But as soon as the mic was in my hand, I just started talking. I talked about the lesson on fear that Jeff talked to Kassie and me about earlier in the day. I can't tell you exactly what I said, because it must have all been God. Because I don't remember much of what I said. But it was DEFINITELY God speaking through me. It was an AMAZING feeling. I can't even describe it. After I was done talking, people were more willing to come up and talk about things that they learned and things that happened. It was great. I'm glad I allowed God to use me to break the ice so others felt comfortable to share. God was most definitely stretching me today. Without a doubt. Today was a GREAT day.
Tuesday [6/15/10]
Today was a pretty good day. At first, it felt like it was a little dry. All of the groups started off the day by going out on different streets and picking up garbage. My small group from my team was together. It was sort of humbling, but I wasn't in a very good mindset this morning. It wasn't like I didn't want to be out there cleaning up, I didn't mind it at all. But for some reason, I just wasn't looking for God-oriented opportunities or open to God working through me. I was just having fun with my friends, and that was it. Well, it turned out that my group went the wrong way down the street, so the pastor drove by and told us to turn around and meet up with our leader. So we retraced our steps. But because we picked up all the garbage already, Kassie and I were able to stop and talk to more people and invite them to the BBQ tomorrow then we did earlier. We became more focused on inviting people while the guys kept picking up garbage. As we were walking (past the point of where we first started...now going the RIGHT direction) we had an interesting encounter with a guy. He seemed to be homeless. Jordan stopped to invite him to the BBQ, and the guy just started talking. He was telling us how he was 80 years old and he was on a mission. Then he started talking about how his name was "Law" like "The Law of God". He was also saying that he was in the Bible. He said that he died in 1984 and then God sent him back down here to do a "mission" for Him. It was definitely interesting. After finishing the street we were supposed to clean, we went back to the church. We were the first group back (even though we did double the amount of street cleaning) so we just hung out until people came back for lunch. After lunch, the groups went out again for their afternoon activities. My group had homeless ministry. So we decide to go to a grocery store, buy sandwich makings, and we made sandwiches to give out to homeless people. After we made them all, we started driving around looking for places that there were a lot of homeless people to witness to. We were driving around for about 20 minutes when we came to a park type area. We saw two homeless people, but it there obviously there wasn't any other people around to talk to. So some of the Forest Lake people got out to give them a sandwich and then we kept driving. The other groups leader was leading, but then he asked Dan if he wanted to take a shot at it. We had no idea where to go. So we began to pray. We asked for a sign or help on where to do. Ben then saw a van driving by us (there were NO other cars...besides cops...driving around where we were. this van was the first we saw). So Ben and Dan waved down the van, and they asked the guy where there were lots of people who were homeless. The guy said to go in a certain direction and said a street name. We couldn't remember the street name he said, we could only remember how it sort of sounded. So we drove blindly in the direction he said. We were about to give up hope when we saw a free clinic and we decided we should stop there. Because there seemed to be many homeless people out in front of it. When we looked at the street name that the clinic it was on, it was a name that sounded like the one the guy said. So we knew at that point that God wanted us there. We passed out sandwiches to people, but I felt very rushed while doing so. Jeff was like "I want to see you hand out all 5 of those sandwiches right now. Don't hesitate. Just do it." It was nothing that anyone said, but I just felt like we didn't have any time to witness. We were just there handing out water, sandwiches, and fruit to people. A couple people were able to talk to a few people. But I felt like I didn't get a chance to make a difference in anyone's life for God. Or tell anyone about God. And it really irritated me. I wasn't used to that kind of ministry. It felt like a "let's quick feed them and leave" approach. And I didn't see how God would do anything through something like that. So all the way back, and through dinner and worship/ATL I was irritated/mad. I felt like nothing had been accomplished all day long. It felt like everything was pointless that we did since we weren't stopping and witnessing to people about God. After our ATL, we split up into our church teams for debriefing/team time. We all went around the circle and talked about our experience so far. At first people were just saying generic stuff that wasn't very personal. But then people started REALLY opening up and saying things they normally wouldn't about how they were feeling. It was very blunt, real, and intense. I'm sure if anyone would have walked into the room, they would have definitely felt the deep emotion among all of us. As people were going around the circle, I was just planning on saying something simple. But when it started getting more real, that's when I started to feel burdened. I felt like I was being weighed down by something. And i couldn't shake it. When it was my turn to speak, I just started letting it out. I was telling everyone how I knew I was being selfish. How I wasn't really opening up to God's possibilities. And I started crying when I was talking. Everything I was saying, I hadn't realized until that moment. God was bringing all these things that were weighing on me to my attention at that exact moment. It was so overwhelming. He also pointed out to me how important it was that I was on the mission trip. How everything He'd done up to that point was for a reason. How God helped me raise the money for the trip, and how He kept making it impossible for me to refuse to not go on the trip. Because before we left, I had seriously considered MANY times just not going. God pointed out to me how important it was that I was on that trip to me. But after I was done speaking, I felt free from my burden. It was gone. God had helped remove it. It was AWESOME. I hadn't even realized beforehand that I was even being weighed down by things. But God opened up my eyes. It was amazing. I LOVE how God works through little things.
Wednesday [6/16/10]
Today was a pretty intense day. It was CLEANING day (at least for my church plus a few people from Forest Lake). There was an area by the church (that could be used to build another room probably) that was FILLED with tar and shingles. It was a ridiculous sized pile. Just glancing at it, it looked like it wouldn't be that difficult to accomplish (cleaning it out). But once it was started, they realized it was a BIG job and very heavy to lift around and bring to the dumpster. So in the morning, the boys were in the pit digging and lugging the tar and shingles from the pit to the dumpster. While they did their "manly job" (lol), the girls worked around the other areas of the church. We cleaned up garbage and pulled weeds. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it took us a while. We finished in time for lunch. Before lunch, the boys went and cleaned up after being COVERED in tar. It was kinda gross. But that's what happens when you work with wet and heavy tar. After lunch, the Forest Lake church group went out again to do homeless ministry. But our church felt like we should stay back. The guys started again on the pit, and the girls were doing miscellaneous things when needed. Instead of the guys doing the work by hand, the pastor was able to get a Bobcat for cheap. Not only that, but one of the guy leaders from Forest Lake knew how to work one. So it was definitely a God thing. Instead of doing random chores with the girls, I decided to go out and do some of the "manly" work with the guys. It wasn't terrible at all with the bobcat compared to how they were doing it in the morning (so I was told). Although, it got really hot. So they was the only negative part of working out there in the pit. It wasn't all that bad. I wasn't pick axing or anything, so I didn't get as dirty as the guys...plus I felt like I wasn't needed much anymore so I left about an hour before the guys were done. I went and took a nap for a little bit, and then it was time to set up for the BBQ that we had been advertising and inviting people to Monday and Tuesday. It didn't take too long to set up for it, and of my church's head leaders (Mike Kirby) began cooking the hotdogs and hamburgers. Slowly people started showing up. At first, it seemed like it wasn't going to be a very big turn out. Because pretty much only church members were there. But after a while, more kids began showing up, some teenagers and adults too. I didn't really know where I belonged during it thought. I was kind of wandering from one thing to another. Finally I started doing some things with the crafts and the little kids. After a little while, Adelyn and I decided to break out the jump rope. That became popular FAST with the kids. Adleyn and I probably played jump rope games with the kids for about 2 hours (if not more). It was a BLAST! I loved playing games with those little kids. They had so much energy and joy in them. Eventually, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be doing that anymore, so I moved on to just walking around. Then a couple of girls from Forest Lake started a dance circle with one little boy who loved dancing to the music we were playing. It was a TON of fun...not to mention CRAZY. :) Tonight wore me out...that's for sure!
Thursday [6/17/10]
This morning, we all went down for breakfast. After we all ate, our AIM leader told us that we were all going to Chinatown. We were supposed to practice and put into use out ATL (Ask The Lord) style of prayer and go and do what God tells us to. We all arrive, and then we split into our small groups. My small group prayed but didn't have a specific calling to go anywhere. So, we just decided to start walking, praying, and see where God took us. We began praying for the community and everything around us. We also prayed for God to show us what He wanted us to do while there. But none of us were hearing anything specific from God. We were getting a little frustrated so we decided to go to a park. We asked a lady where we could find one, and she told us how to get to it. On our way, we stopped and bought some smoothies. DELICIOUS! :) We walked to the park, but we still didn't feel called to witness to anyone or do to anything specific. So we just took some pictures and relaxed at the park for a while. After being there for a while, we leave to go meet up with the rest of our church team to eat at a restaurant for lunch. AMAZING Chinese food. It was so good. We all finished eating, and then went to a few stores. After shopping for a little bit, we decided to leave and go back to the church. None of us were feeling called to do anything by God. Once we got back to the church, the guys finished up the little bit of the pit that was left, and they also helped with stuff on the roof of the church. A couple of the girls went up there to help as well. Us girls who were not on the roof spent time with a girl that Ashley met at the BBQ, her name was Sonia. She was so sweet. We hung out with her for a while, and convinced her to stay with us for dinner and our worship time. She was in no hurry to leave us, which was really cool. I do not think she was a Christian, so it was cool that we were able to show her kindness and the love of God. I miss her a lot. Once we ate dinner (and AFTER the guys cleaned up again after the pit and the roof cleaning), we had more worship/ATL. Since it was our last night there for the missions trip, the church wanted to lead worship for us. So their worship lead us in worship and it was AMAZING! I can hardly express how amazing that worship service was for me. Not only for me, but I could see how it affected other people on the team. So many people were entering into a deep form of worship with God that barely even sang the first night of worship. It was sooo amazing for me to watch. With the mix of love I felt from my own personal worship, and then watching people around me enter into that kind of worship just brought me to tears. There is just something about watching other people worship that fills me with so much joy, that I can't help but smile and praise God even more. That ATL was amazing too. There were so many stories about Forest Lake and their chances to reach homeless people around the area. They were AMAZING stories! Early today it felt like nothing was being accomplished...but in the end....it turned out to be a great day.
Friday [6/18/10]
Today was a relaxing day. In the morning, we said goodbye to Forest Lake team since they were going to Six Flags for the day.After saying goodbye to them, we cleaned up the church on the inside and packed up all of our stuff. After packing, the pastor took us to his house and then to a Puerto Rican Carnival. We weren't there until the rides were opened, but we were there for quite a while. We were able to experience Puerto Rican food. Also, a couple of the boys and I got "authentic" Pina Coladas. They were" mmmm.....TASTY!" After Candy and Dan got back from bringing Adelyn and Sarah to the hotel (since Adelyn was sick and Sarah was still recovering), we decided to leave the carnival because there wasn't much to do. Plus it was 100 degrees outside, and we were all getting too hot. So we walked back to our vehicles and rode to the hotel. The very first thing most of our team did was bring in our stuff, then went swimming. It was a lot of fun. We chilled in the hot tub (it was RELAXING) and then went in the swimming pool. We actually only got out of the pool area because the power went out. So we all had to get out because there was a big storm coming. A couple people started freaking out, but thankfully nothing bad happened around where we were. A couple tree branches fell from the VERY strong winds, but God was protecting us. So after the storm passed, we did a few different things. A few of us relaxed, some of us played a card game called "Spoons", and other people did other random things. Eventually, we ate dinner. Chicago style pizza. It was DELICIOUS....but I definitely wasn't able to eat more than one piece. But of COURSE some of our boys at 3 pieces. Gross...but to be expected. (lol) After we all finished eating, we had our group debriefing. I lead us in some worship songs, and then we started our debriefing. We went around the circle and talked about what was our favorite part, the part we least liked, and other things about the missions trip. It was AMAZING!!!! Everyone was telling so much about their personal feelings and things they learned. It was great to hear. You could definitely tell how close we all became on this missions trip. It was CRAZY! We all feel so comfortable with each other now. It's like we are family. God REALLY worked in all of us and brought us close together. It has become apparent to me that God worked in us A LOT this week. Even if we didn't get to do as much ministry as the other church....we fulfilled our purpose...and God DEFINITELY accomplished all that He wanted to in people's lives. I am SOOO thankful that I was able to go on this trip!
Saturday [6/19/10]
Today was our day of relaxing and touring around Chicago. Since I was sick last night, I stayed with Adelyn and Candy at the hotel until about noon. I would have gone with the rest of the group earlier in the morning... I was up in time... but I wanted to make sure i wasn't still sick. Adelyn's parents came to Chicago to pick her up so she wouldn't have to ride back with all of us tomorrow. Candy and I left together to meet the rest of the group in downtown Chicago. We rode the Metra to downtown and took a taxi to meet the group at Ed Debbvics. I wish I could have been there with them for the meal, but that's okay. I'll hopefully get to go there another time with people later in life. After everyone was done eating, we walked around trying to figure out where we wanted to go. The group went to the place with the huge bean earlier in the day. So I missed that, but they weren't able to go to the Sears Tower because of the risk of high winds. But once Candy and I met up with them, we were told that it was open again. So then we went there, only to find out that we were 5 minutes too late because they closed it again due to more danger of high winds. Everyone was really bummed. But then we all decided to go out to Navy Pier. LOVED IT! When we got there, we split up into random small groups. The people I ended up with was the upperclassmen on the trip (Andrew, Eric, Ben, Jordan, Alyssa, Kassie, and Ashley). We decided to go on the ferris wheel. It was HUGE! so the boys went in one, and the girls in the other. It was a GORGEOUS view. So that was fun. Then a couple needed water, so they did that. But they decided to go separate from us. So I went with Jordan, Eric, Andrew, Ben, and Calliegh and Matt (who met up with us) on our journey to the very end of the Pier. It was so pretty. And it was a blast hanging out with them. :) So....trying to get back to the hotel was INTERESTING! Our goal was to leave the Pier by 5:20 so we could make the 6:30 El ride. So we rode one bus and we stopped to get food. We rushed to eat, and then we were running around to different bus stops trying to find the right one to take us to the El. But then, we missed the time we needed to be there. So we decided to pass the time. I went with a few of the boys to Sports Authority and everyone else went to an Animal Shelter. After about a half our (I think) we all met up and walked to the bus stop we needed to be at. So we FINALLY got a bus to the El.....but once we got there....we realized that we needed to be on the METRA not the El. So, we just rode the El to the airport, and the hotel sent a shuttle for us. Once we got back to the hotel, a good portion of us went swimming again. It was a so much fun. We were having chicken fights...and trying to get a three-person high chicken fight. I do not remember if we accomplished it...but it was certainly interesting. Jordan and Ben were the ultimate winners to the chicken fights. Unbeatable. (lol) After that, we just all relaxed in the hot tub. After midnight, we all went to bed.
Sunday [6/20/10]
We came home! Awesome car ride with Dan Slegh as our driver. :) GREAT music and fun times.
After the missions trip/Extra details:
First: While on the trip, a couple of the girls got sick. First it was our leader Candy, then Sarah (another leader), and Adelyn. I was sick for one night. So I definitely didn't get it like the rest of them did. They all were sick for a couple days and could hardly stand up or anything.
Second: So, I was thinking about the missions trip and about random things that happened. I began thinking about the vision that I had while on the missions trip of that guy with a broken hand. Then my mind flashed to giving sandwiches to the homeless at the free clinic. I was so focused on God bringing a man with a broken hand in my life to pray for healing or something. I really missed His true purpose of that vision. He was telling me that we were supposed to go to the free clinic. Looking back at it now, I am certain that is what God was trying to tell me. I feel bad that I did not realize it on the trip when I was so bitter about how that circumstance happened. But now I can know that God worked it all out for HIS plan. Not mine. I was too busy looking for a healing miracle... and I didn't open my eyes to what God was really attempting to tell me. But I think the point of this vision I saw and now this new found realization helps show how amazing God is. He planned for us to go there from the beginning...and even though i didn't understand the vision, He got us there anyways.
Third: A girl named McCayla was on the trip from the Forrest Lake church's team. She told me a few days ago that because I was able to have the boldness to go up on stage and lead worship Monday night on our trip, she was able to face her fear of singing in front of people. And she sang on the worship team for her church on Sunday. I wasn't even trying to do anything, but God used me anyways. God gets ALL the glory!!! I love it when He decides to use me, even when I don't notice that He is.
Sunday [06/13/10]
Today was the travel day of the trip. It was definitely interesting for me. Needless to say, I think Satan was trying to ruin my attitude with people right from the beginning. I was just getting easily irritated with many people throughout the car ride. We got to Chicago after a VERY long car ride. Once we got there, us girls went up to the apartments above the church to settle in and figure out where we were sleeping. We were able to get there before the other church from Forest Lake, so we picked our rooms easily. Later in the night, we had worship with everyone there for the missions trip. At first I was still in a bad mood, but Jim (our worship leader) had picked just the right songs that hit home that night. I was able surrender my mood to God and He just began to speak to me. During worship, I saw a vision of a man who had a broken arm. I couldn't tell where he was or what was going to happen. But that just stuck in my head the whole time. I don't know what God is trying to say or communicate, or if it even means anything...but we'll just have to wait and see I guess.
Monday [6/14/10]
Today was amazing! :) I have so much to say from this day, that it will probably be my longest entry. So first, the whole group was split into smaller ones. Each group went to a different area for tasks in the morning. Most of the groups were brought to different parks to clean them up. We got to the park and it wasn't HORRIBLE. But there was a lot of random gross things, and bottles, glass, wrappers, etc. So my small group (which consists of Kassie Knutson, Ben Aarhus, Eric Slegh, Jordan Groeneweg and Dan Slegh as our leader) with a small group from Forest Lake [we were paired up with their small group most of the week] took shovels and rakes and started cleaning up. At first it just seemed like no big deal...just picking up trash. But then there was something humbling about picking up the garbage that others left behind without caring. In a way... I guess I sort of thought of the analogy of it being like someone's life. So many people will come and leave hurt and garbage in your life. And it seems like you aren't worth much anymore, even to God. But then God comes along and cleans out your life of what others leave behind so that you are beautiful again. It was a very humbling experience for me. After we were all done filling up the garbage bags, we started just doing random things in the park. Kassie and I began throwing the football around. The guys took the basketball and started a game. Not long after they started a game, some guys from the neighborhood came over and started shooting hoops. Our guys then invited them to start a game with them. It was intense, but a lot of fun. Once the game ended, we all went back to the church for lunch. After we finished our lunches, our groups were send out again on different tasks in the afternoon. My group went on a prayer walk. We had around 10+ people in our group. So we decided to split up into groups of 3 or 4. Dan wasn't sure who should go with who, so Jeff (a leader from AIM) decided to take charge and made the groups. Kassie and I ended up being in his group. At first we prayed for a little while, then we got to talking. We had flyers that advertise the BBQ the church is having on Wednesday. As we were walking, Jeff was talking to Kassie and I about random things. We were walking past this small group of people who seemed to be having a party outside. Kassie and I were both hesitant to talk to any of them, so Jeff stopped a couple of them and gave them a flyer and told them about the BBQ. After that, we started walking again and Jeff brought up that Kassie and I were hesitant to go up to them. He started telling us about how we can't let fear get to us. Because if we do, it will bring us down and that is how Satan keeps a hold of us. Then the next thing I knew, Kassie and I had the boldness to go up and talk to people and give them flyers. The only explanation would be the boldness of the Holy Spirit coming over us. It felt so freeing to be able to not be scared to approach people passing on the street. It was so cool! We ended up walking past a grocery store, so we went inside. Jeff bought Kassie and I energy drinks (and of course one for himself). Also during the prayer walk, Jeff asked me if I'd ever heard the song "I Think I'm Gunna Throw Up". It was really cool that he knew that song. I grew up singing that song in kids church when I was in elementary school. After the prayer walk, my group went to the elementary school close to the church. It was really awesome how most people seemed open to us when we walked up to them and told them about the BBQ and the church. We all sprawled out and covered a most of the area where the parents were getting their children. Once we had pretty much talked to everyone, our group met up in front of the entrance to the playground area that we were just in. Shortly after, the principle of the school said we weren't allowed to pass out anything on school grounds, so we had to do that across the street. But even though Satan was trying to ruin what we were doing, we managed to beat him before He could. Once all the groups got back to the church, we had dinner. It was REALLY good. :) Then, as a whole team, we went out to a big park to do ministry. We didn't have anything specific planned. So we all just split up to wherever we wanted. the guys (well most) from our church's team went and played sports with neighborhood guys who were there. The rest of us did things like jump rope and random things. For our team, it wasn't a major opportunity to witness, but you never know how you have touched people's hearts by actions. After that, we had our worship/ATL (Ask The Lord) meeting back at the church. Everyone was standing/sitting around waiting for it start. But Jim had a really bad headache and couldn't lead worship. So Rian (another AIM leader) was up on stage looking for songs to play and getting ready to lead worship with the help of a few church members playing bass, drums, and electric (while he played acoustic guitar). I was talking to people when Jeff called me name. I walked up to him and asked what's up. He said, "Do you know the song 'Take It All'?" I said I did. The next thing I knew, Jeff was pulling me up on stage. And shortly after that, Rian and I lead worship for the team. At first, I was beyond nervous. I can't even explain how sick it made me. I don't even know why I was so nervous to lead the team in worship. I mean... I've lead worship countless number of times. I was used to it. But my stomach kept churning just standing up there in front of everyone. Worship started, and Jeff got everyone excited and going. The next thing I know, I am jumping and getting really into worship. I barely even realized that I was on stage anymore. God brought peace, assurance, and confidence to my heart. I don't think I have ever had an experience like that leading people in worship. It was a blast, and it was very humbling allowing God to work through me during that time. Once worship was done, we started our ATL (also can be referred to as a daily debriefing). Our leader from AIM was asking people to come up and share something that happened to them during the day. No one was going up, and I felt a enormous tug on my heart to go up and talk. I was freaked out and didn't want to go up. But after about a minute of Mark waiting for someone to come up, I found myself standing up and walking up there. I didn't have the slightest clue as to what I was going to say as I was walking up there. But as soon as the mic was in my hand, I just started talking. I talked about the lesson on fear that Jeff talked to Kassie and me about earlier in the day. I can't tell you exactly what I said, because it must have all been God. Because I don't remember much of what I said. But it was DEFINITELY God speaking through me. It was an AMAZING feeling. I can't even describe it. After I was done talking, people were more willing to come up and talk about things that they learned and things that happened. It was great. I'm glad I allowed God to use me to break the ice so others felt comfortable to share. God was most definitely stretching me today. Without a doubt. Today was a GREAT day.
Tuesday [6/15/10]
Today was a pretty good day. At first, it felt like it was a little dry. All of the groups started off the day by going out on different streets and picking up garbage. My small group from my team was together. It was sort of humbling, but I wasn't in a very good mindset this morning. It wasn't like I didn't want to be out there cleaning up, I didn't mind it at all. But for some reason, I just wasn't looking for God-oriented opportunities or open to God working through me. I was just having fun with my friends, and that was it. Well, it turned out that my group went the wrong way down the street, so the pastor drove by and told us to turn around and meet up with our leader. So we retraced our steps. But because we picked up all the garbage already, Kassie and I were able to stop and talk to more people and invite them to the BBQ tomorrow then we did earlier. We became more focused on inviting people while the guys kept picking up garbage. As we were walking (past the point of where we first started...now going the RIGHT direction) we had an interesting encounter with a guy. He seemed to be homeless. Jordan stopped to invite him to the BBQ, and the guy just started talking. He was telling us how he was 80 years old and he was on a mission. Then he started talking about how his name was "Law" like "The Law of God". He was also saying that he was in the Bible. He said that he died in 1984 and then God sent him back down here to do a "mission" for Him. It was definitely interesting. After finishing the street we were supposed to clean, we went back to the church. We were the first group back (even though we did double the amount of street cleaning) so we just hung out until people came back for lunch. After lunch, the groups went out again for their afternoon activities. My group had homeless ministry. So we decide to go to a grocery store, buy sandwich makings, and we made sandwiches to give out to homeless people. After we made them all, we started driving around looking for places that there were a lot of homeless people to witness to. We were driving around for about 20 minutes when we came to a park type area. We saw two homeless people, but it there obviously there wasn't any other people around to talk to. So some of the Forest Lake people got out to give them a sandwich and then we kept driving. The other groups leader was leading, but then he asked Dan if he wanted to take a shot at it. We had no idea where to go. So we began to pray. We asked for a sign or help on where to do. Ben then saw a van driving by us (there were NO other cars...besides cops...driving around where we were. this van was the first we saw). So Ben and Dan waved down the van, and they asked the guy where there were lots of people who were homeless. The guy said to go in a certain direction and said a street name. We couldn't remember the street name he said, we could only remember how it sort of sounded. So we drove blindly in the direction he said. We were about to give up hope when we saw a free clinic and we decided we should stop there. Because there seemed to be many homeless people out in front of it. When we looked at the street name that the clinic it was on, it was a name that sounded like the one the guy said. So we knew at that point that God wanted us there. We passed out sandwiches to people, but I felt very rushed while doing so. Jeff was like "I want to see you hand out all 5 of those sandwiches right now. Don't hesitate. Just do it." It was nothing that anyone said, but I just felt like we didn't have any time to witness. We were just there handing out water, sandwiches, and fruit to people. A couple people were able to talk to a few people. But I felt like I didn't get a chance to make a difference in anyone's life for God. Or tell anyone about God. And it really irritated me. I wasn't used to that kind of ministry. It felt like a "let's quick feed them and leave" approach. And I didn't see how God would do anything through something like that. So all the way back, and through dinner and worship/ATL I was irritated/mad. I felt like nothing had been accomplished all day long. It felt like everything was pointless that we did since we weren't stopping and witnessing to people about God. After our ATL, we split up into our church teams for debriefing/team time. We all went around the circle and talked about our experience so far. At first people were just saying generic stuff that wasn't very personal. But then people started REALLY opening up and saying things they normally wouldn't about how they were feeling. It was very blunt, real, and intense. I'm sure if anyone would have walked into the room, they would have definitely felt the deep emotion among all of us. As people were going around the circle, I was just planning on saying something simple. But when it started getting more real, that's when I started to feel burdened. I felt like I was being weighed down by something. And i couldn't shake it. When it was my turn to speak, I just started letting it out. I was telling everyone how I knew I was being selfish. How I wasn't really opening up to God's possibilities. And I started crying when I was talking. Everything I was saying, I hadn't realized until that moment. God was bringing all these things that were weighing on me to my attention at that exact moment. It was so overwhelming. He also pointed out to me how important it was that I was on the mission trip. How everything He'd done up to that point was for a reason. How God helped me raise the money for the trip, and how He kept making it impossible for me to refuse to not go on the trip. Because before we left, I had seriously considered MANY times just not going. God pointed out to me how important it was that I was on that trip to me. But after I was done speaking, I felt free from my burden. It was gone. God had helped remove it. It was AWESOME. I hadn't even realized beforehand that I was even being weighed down by things. But God opened up my eyes. It was amazing. I LOVE how God works through little things.
Wednesday [6/16/10]
Today was a pretty intense day. It was CLEANING day (at least for my church plus a few people from Forest Lake). There was an area by the church (that could be used to build another room probably) that was FILLED with tar and shingles. It was a ridiculous sized pile. Just glancing at it, it looked like it wouldn't be that difficult to accomplish (cleaning it out). But once it was started, they realized it was a BIG job and very heavy to lift around and bring to the dumpster. So in the morning, the boys were in the pit digging and lugging the tar and shingles from the pit to the dumpster. While they did their "manly job" (lol), the girls worked around the other areas of the church. We cleaned up garbage and pulled weeds. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it took us a while. We finished in time for lunch. Before lunch, the boys went and cleaned up after being COVERED in tar. It was kinda gross. But that's what happens when you work with wet and heavy tar. After lunch, the Forest Lake church group went out again to do homeless ministry. But our church felt like we should stay back. The guys started again on the pit, and the girls were doing miscellaneous things when needed. Instead of the guys doing the work by hand, the pastor was able to get a Bobcat for cheap. Not only that, but one of the guy leaders from Forest Lake knew how to work one. So it was definitely a God thing. Instead of doing random chores with the girls, I decided to go out and do some of the "manly" work with the guys. It wasn't terrible at all with the bobcat compared to how they were doing it in the morning (so I was told). Although, it got really hot. So they was the only negative part of working out there in the pit. It wasn't all that bad. I wasn't pick axing or anything, so I didn't get as dirty as the guys...plus I felt like I wasn't needed much anymore so I left about an hour before the guys were done. I went and took a nap for a little bit, and then it was time to set up for the BBQ that we had been advertising and inviting people to Monday and Tuesday. It didn't take too long to set up for it, and of my church's head leaders (Mike Kirby) began cooking the hotdogs and hamburgers. Slowly people started showing up. At first, it seemed like it wasn't going to be a very big turn out. Because pretty much only church members were there. But after a while, more kids began showing up, some teenagers and adults too. I didn't really know where I belonged during it thought. I was kind of wandering from one thing to another. Finally I started doing some things with the crafts and the little kids. After a little while, Adelyn and I decided to break out the jump rope. That became popular FAST with the kids. Adleyn and I probably played jump rope games with the kids for about 2 hours (if not more). It was a BLAST! I loved playing games with those little kids. They had so much energy and joy in them. Eventually, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be doing that anymore, so I moved on to just walking around. Then a couple of girls from Forest Lake started a dance circle with one little boy who loved dancing to the music we were playing. It was a TON of fun...not to mention CRAZY. :) Tonight wore me out...that's for sure!
Thursday [6/17/10]
This morning, we all went down for breakfast. After we all ate, our AIM leader told us that we were all going to Chinatown. We were supposed to practice and put into use out ATL (Ask The Lord) style of prayer and go and do what God tells us to. We all arrive, and then we split into our small groups. My small group prayed but didn't have a specific calling to go anywhere. So, we just decided to start walking, praying, and see where God took us. We began praying for the community and everything around us. We also prayed for God to show us what He wanted us to do while there. But none of us were hearing anything specific from God. We were getting a little frustrated so we decided to go to a park. We asked a lady where we could find one, and she told us how to get to it. On our way, we stopped and bought some smoothies. DELICIOUS! :) We walked to the park, but we still didn't feel called to witness to anyone or do to anything specific. So we just took some pictures and relaxed at the park for a while. After being there for a while, we leave to go meet up with the rest of our church team to eat at a restaurant for lunch. AMAZING Chinese food. It was so good. We all finished eating, and then went to a few stores. After shopping for a little bit, we decided to leave and go back to the church. None of us were feeling called to do anything by God. Once we got back to the church, the guys finished up the little bit of the pit that was left, and they also helped with stuff on the roof of the church. A couple of the girls went up there to help as well. Us girls who were not on the roof spent time with a girl that Ashley met at the BBQ, her name was Sonia. She was so sweet. We hung out with her for a while, and convinced her to stay with us for dinner and our worship time. She was in no hurry to leave us, which was really cool. I do not think she was a Christian, so it was cool that we were able to show her kindness and the love of God. I miss her a lot. Once we ate dinner (and AFTER the guys cleaned up again after the pit and the roof cleaning), we had more worship/ATL. Since it was our last night there for the missions trip, the church wanted to lead worship for us. So their worship lead us in worship and it was AMAZING! I can hardly express how amazing that worship service was for me. Not only for me, but I could see how it affected other people on the team. So many people were entering into a deep form of worship with God that barely even sang the first night of worship. It was sooo amazing for me to watch. With the mix of love I felt from my own personal worship, and then watching people around me enter into that kind of worship just brought me to tears. There is just something about watching other people worship that fills me with so much joy, that I can't help but smile and praise God even more. That ATL was amazing too. There were so many stories about Forest Lake and their chances to reach homeless people around the area. They were AMAZING stories! Early today it felt like nothing was being accomplished...but in the end....it turned out to be a great day.
Friday [6/18/10]
Today was a relaxing day. In the morning, we said goodbye to Forest Lake team since they were going to Six Flags for the day.After saying goodbye to them, we cleaned up the church on the inside and packed up all of our stuff. After packing, the pastor took us to his house and then to a Puerto Rican Carnival. We weren't there until the rides were opened, but we were there for quite a while. We were able to experience Puerto Rican food. Also, a couple of the boys and I got "authentic" Pina Coladas. They were" mmmm.....TASTY!" After Candy and Dan got back from bringing Adelyn and Sarah to the hotel (since Adelyn was sick and Sarah was still recovering), we decided to leave the carnival because there wasn't much to do. Plus it was 100 degrees outside, and we were all getting too hot. So we walked back to our vehicles and rode to the hotel. The very first thing most of our team did was bring in our stuff, then went swimming. It was a lot of fun. We chilled in the hot tub (it was RELAXING) and then went in the swimming pool. We actually only got out of the pool area because the power went out. So we all had to get out because there was a big storm coming. A couple people started freaking out, but thankfully nothing bad happened around where we were. A couple tree branches fell from the VERY strong winds, but God was protecting us. So after the storm passed, we did a few different things. A few of us relaxed, some of us played a card game called "Spoons", and other people did other random things. Eventually, we ate dinner. Chicago style pizza. It was DELICIOUS....but I definitely wasn't able to eat more than one piece. But of COURSE some of our boys at 3 pieces. Gross...but to be expected. (lol) After we all finished eating, we had our group debriefing. I lead us in some worship songs, and then we started our debriefing. We went around the circle and talked about what was our favorite part, the part we least liked, and other things about the missions trip. It was AMAZING!!!! Everyone was telling so much about their personal feelings and things they learned. It was great to hear. You could definitely tell how close we all became on this missions trip. It was CRAZY! We all feel so comfortable with each other now. It's like we are family. God REALLY worked in all of us and brought us close together. It has become apparent to me that God worked in us A LOT this week. Even if we didn't get to do as much ministry as the other church....we fulfilled our purpose...and God DEFINITELY accomplished all that He wanted to in people's lives. I am SOOO thankful that I was able to go on this trip!
Saturday [6/19/10]
Today was our day of relaxing and touring around Chicago. Since I was sick last night, I stayed with Adelyn and Candy at the hotel until about noon. I would have gone with the rest of the group earlier in the morning... I was up in time... but I wanted to make sure i wasn't still sick. Adelyn's parents came to Chicago to pick her up so she wouldn't have to ride back with all of us tomorrow. Candy and I left together to meet the rest of the group in downtown Chicago. We rode the Metra to downtown and took a taxi to meet the group at Ed Debbvics. I wish I could have been there with them for the meal, but that's okay. I'll hopefully get to go there another time with people later in life. After everyone was done eating, we walked around trying to figure out where we wanted to go. The group went to the place with the huge bean earlier in the day. So I missed that, but they weren't able to go to the Sears Tower because of the risk of high winds. But once Candy and I met up with them, we were told that it was open again. So then we went there, only to find out that we were 5 minutes too late because they closed it again due to more danger of high winds. Everyone was really bummed. But then we all decided to go out to Navy Pier. LOVED IT! When we got there, we split up into random small groups. The people I ended up with was the upperclassmen on the trip (Andrew, Eric, Ben, Jordan, Alyssa, Kassie, and Ashley). We decided to go on the ferris wheel. It was HUGE! so the boys went in one, and the girls in the other. It was a GORGEOUS view. So that was fun. Then a couple needed water, so they did that. But they decided to go separate from us. So I went with Jordan, Eric, Andrew, Ben, and Calliegh and Matt (who met up with us) on our journey to the very end of the Pier. It was so pretty. And it was a blast hanging out with them. :) So....trying to get back to the hotel was INTERESTING! Our goal was to leave the Pier by 5:20 so we could make the 6:30 El ride. So we rode one bus and we stopped to get food. We rushed to eat, and then we were running around to different bus stops trying to find the right one to take us to the El. But then, we missed the time we needed to be there. So we decided to pass the time. I went with a few of the boys to Sports Authority and everyone else went to an Animal Shelter. After about a half our (I think) we all met up and walked to the bus stop we needed to be at. So we FINALLY got a bus to the El.....but once we got there....we realized that we needed to be on the METRA not the El. So, we just rode the El to the airport, and the hotel sent a shuttle for us. Once we got back to the hotel, a good portion of us went swimming again. It was a so much fun. We were having chicken fights...and trying to get a three-person high chicken fight. I do not remember if we accomplished it...but it was certainly interesting. Jordan and Ben were the ultimate winners to the chicken fights. Unbeatable. (lol) After that, we just all relaxed in the hot tub. After midnight, we all went to bed.
Sunday [6/20/10]
We came home! Awesome car ride with Dan Slegh as our driver. :) GREAT music and fun times.
After the missions trip/Extra details:
First: While on the trip, a couple of the girls got sick. First it was our leader Candy, then Sarah (another leader), and Adelyn. I was sick for one night. So I definitely didn't get it like the rest of them did. They all were sick for a couple days and could hardly stand up or anything.
Second: So, I was thinking about the missions trip and about random things that happened. I began thinking about the vision that I had while on the missions trip of that guy with a broken hand. Then my mind flashed to giving sandwiches to the homeless at the free clinic. I was so focused on God bringing a man with a broken hand in my life to pray for healing or something. I really missed His true purpose of that vision. He was telling me that we were supposed to go to the free clinic. Looking back at it now, I am certain that is what God was trying to tell me. I feel bad that I did not realize it on the trip when I was so bitter about how that circumstance happened. But now I can know that God worked it all out for HIS plan. Not mine. I was too busy looking for a healing miracle... and I didn't open my eyes to what God was really attempting to tell me. But I think the point of this vision I saw and now this new found realization helps show how amazing God is. He planned for us to go there from the beginning...and even though i didn't understand the vision, He got us there anyways.
Third: A girl named McCayla was on the trip from the Forrest Lake church's team. She told me a few days ago that because I was able to have the boldness to go up on stage and lead worship Monday night on our trip, she was able to face her fear of singing in front of people. And she sang on the worship team for her church on Sunday. I wasn't even trying to do anything, but God used me anyways. God gets ALL the glory!!! I love it when He decides to use me, even when I don't notice that He is.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Soldiers
A poem I wrote during my composition class at PACT today (01/28/10):
(I put large amounts of thought and time into this poem. I mean EVERY word said about our soldiers)
What is a soldier?
They are courage
They are this country
They are the bravery
The stronghold
The backbone
What is courage?
It is taking a stand
It is being yourself
It is being strong
Having faith
Facing fears
What is this country?
It is the US of A
It is freedom
It is independence
United
Strong
What is bravery?
It is standing up
It is living your life
It is waking up each morning
Taking life when its rough
Putting on a smile
What is a stronghold?
It is security
It is a rock
It is inspiration
Steady
Unfailing
What is a backbone?
It is the weapon
It is the existence
It is what holds us together
The main bone
Keeps us alive
What is a soldier?
Someone we can count on
Someone who holds us up
Someone that saves our freedom
Risks their lives
Faces their fears
Are YOU a soldier?
(I put large amounts of thought and time into this poem. I mean EVERY word said about our soldiers)
What is a soldier?
They are courage
They are this country
They are the bravery
The stronghold
The backbone
What is courage?
It is taking a stand
It is being yourself
It is being strong
Having faith
Facing fears
What is this country?
It is the US of A
It is freedom
It is independence
United
Strong
What is bravery?
It is standing up
It is living your life
It is waking up each morning
Taking life when its rough
Putting on a smile
What is a stronghold?
It is security
It is a rock
It is inspiration
Steady
Unfailing
What is a backbone?
It is the weapon
It is the existence
It is what holds us together
The main bone
Keeps us alive
What is a soldier?
Someone we can count on
Someone who holds us up
Someone that saves our freedom
Risks their lives
Faces their fears
Are YOU a soldier?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
my life in retrospect
Recently I have been dealing with a lot of problems in many aspects of my life. It seems so very overwhelming. I am not sure how I am able to handle all of this "drama" in my life at once. Maybe all my past drama...all the drama that seemed WAY too overwhelming at the time... prepared me for this point in my life. The point in my life that has more adult problems instead of teenage problems. The point in my life where these problems can make or ruin my life. It's difficult to look at all that I'm going through... and knowing that every LITTLE choice i make is fragile. And if I make the wrong move... my life could break apart completely. It's also very stressful knowing that. There are moments where I feel like I am going crazy. Like I am not all there. There are days in the past 5 months that just are such a blur. Like I can't remember most of the days in the past 5 months. I just lived barely through them... but only focused enough to live through the day... and not enough to enjoy it. The only days I remember completely clearly are the days I encountered God. I'm not sure if this is bad... but I'm not a fan of living my life this way. All I'm doing is living it enough to get by without dying. It's a numb life... and I'm not sure why or how exactly I got to be this way. It's almost like it's exhausting. The only thing that is keeping me going is God and my love for Him and knowing His will for my life. So everything I'm going through...and have gone through...and will go through has a meaning and purpose. Its just difficult to see those purposes right now. And I'm not so much a fan of them. Especially since SO much is happening to me at once... but I'm trusting in God...
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